Sock de la Wreck de la...

I'm knitting myself a pair of socks. Yep, a pair fer me. How's that for selfish, eh? I am selfish, I really am. Not because of the socks, but for a variety of reasons. It's hard to be human. I'm not as selfish as Bush, at least I like to think that.

It's been a busy few days. I bought some new glasses for my son Digs, some sandals for my oldest son and guiltily bought some very nice sandals (Birks) for myself. When things get bad, I either work hard on my house, my yard or my job. Sometimes though, I end up putting a band-aid on myself with a shoe purchase.

Reality: the bitterness isn't fading one bit. I really rears up on Wednesdays when I spend some time at a church where the boys have their language instruction. Oh well, we face self-congratulating superficially innocent human behavior every single day, whether it is under the guise of religion or what have you. It really is rotten, isn't it, that we are not perfect. Just some people don't even try to have insight into their imperfections. No humility, you know. It's the wielding of the religious message with the lack of humility that just slays me.

So did ja catch the most recent Colbert Report episodes? I sure love that show. I watched a few Daily Shows and honestly from the few I've seen, Jon Stewart seems a bit fixated on male sex organs while making poignant observations about politics. Oh well. Florida will never look like a male organ to me. I like my mental picture of it being more like the Everglades, even if it's delusional. I'm entitled to my pleasures, especially when I'm 3000 miles away from that delusion. Sure I am.

Well on to knitting. I've been working on Sock de la Mer by Anne Hanson of Knitspot. I've done a proper ream job on the pattern, and I'm going forward anyway because I'm sick of going backwards. The sock is for me anyway, and I want so badly to finish a pair of socks. Finish SOMETHING. I spent two hours ripping and knitting and ripping lace edging on Hannah's pants. Maybe tomorrow in Portland I'll have the chance to stop by a shop that has some good washable merino I can add on as a lighter weight yarn, as the dk weight I'm using just is way too chunky. Oh the troubles. I think probably I'd just best knit a lace edging and sew it on. I don't want to do that though... By the time I'm done with the pants, poor Hannah will be in first grade at this rate.

Oh I must get the strange carrot mash of desperation off my face!

Pancake lives up to her name

Poor gal. Her feathers are growing out everywhere except the top of her head, where she is getting pecked. It's Belle's fault. She's the bully I do think, and it's happening in the morning when they get all riled up to go outside, trapped in their cage. Perhaps it's time to rig up a new parking spot for Belle at night.

The weather is stunning today. I took a few photos of our little patch of land that we're responsible for right now anyway, and thought I'd share. Here's the patch under the pine tree in the front. It's been years I've tried to get something to grow there, and finally the St. John's Wort has filled in, along with that other stuff with the variegated leaf pattern. Rocks work well too. There used to be bark-o-mulch there and up came some kind of bulb that I am terribly allergic to.


We're putting up a little open slat fence across our front yard. Here's what Dave has done on it so far:

The posts are not aligned with one another (grr) but once the slats are up it hopefully will not be that noticeable.

I could not resist yet another pic of my favorite tulips:

Breathing.

My mother always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Fact is, I was kind of a cranky little girl, but looking back, I think I was somewhat justified. So speaking of my mother, I've had a horrible insight regarding her problem and myself. She is a hoarder, as I've said before. I have tried to help her get her house cleaned but it has ended always in tension and arguments right away. Now, however, as I'm struggling with my own clutter problem, I've read that the tendency runs in families and can emerge about now in a person's life. My sister struggles with it. My brothers struggle now with it, I've seen. So I'm trying to take on that reality that I must come to terms with my own tendencies of hoarding. For example, I have 5 chickens, 4 cats and 2 Saint Bernards. In a 1200 square foot house. I haven't adopted anything more in a long time and the 4th cat was brought in by my husband. I hoard books. Papers sometimes. But I am willing to part with clothes I don't wear anymore. There is this part of me though that is very concerned with the environment and I think to myself that I could maybe cut all those old clothes up or sew together the good parts of socks with holes and make a blanket out of it. I have WAY too many spiral bound notebooks. They're everywhere. The issue for me now is decision making and distraction. When I have quiet time alone, I can do wonders. It's when the house is noisy all day and I have several work-related responsibilities or interpersonal stuff happens to me, I can't even see the stuff in my house. It is simply peripheral to my focus which is to cope with the interpersonal chaos before me. But when quiet comes, I can see the mess. It becomes shocking then. For example, under my computer screen, right now, is a pile of papers I must sort and deal with. The trouble is I don't know how. Much of it has to do with my dad, and it intimidates me because he is now cared for financially by the State. But as much as I'd like to say it's his stuff, it's not all his. There is the rebate form from my cell phone provider. And the Saint Bernard Rescue newsletter. And a joke book Cy left here with me one day a long time ago. See:

Of course you can imagine there are multiple views of piles like that around my house. And a stack or two or three. And what it does essentially is to yank out from my psyche and scream out is shame. I feel an extraordinary amount of shame for being unable to cope with day to day life right now in a way that meets a social standard for orderliness. And yet, you can see from this photo, that although I try to maintain a certain degree of orderliness, it does get out of hand:

I don't know what to do with all those CDs. And like all hoarders, I have a hard time letting go of them. Most of them are mine, although several are Dave's. And in the pic also is the view of my grand intentions to paint my room in an unconventional way. I still have that corner and the ceiling edge to do in the red I have waiting, but moving things out is a bit daunting to say the least, not to mention time consuming. She says as she parks on her tushie making a blog post instead.

Okay on a happier note, Sunday I went to Portland to volunteer at a booth to represent the Saint Bernard Rescue Foundation at the Pet Fair there. There were too many people at the booth so I wasn't really needed, and only two dogs but I'm glad I went so it alleviated my guilt. And I learned about a supplement that is showing help for dogs with arthritis (like my Boris) who are already taking glucosamine. It's called MSM. There was another one there that even people take, but it is a bit financially prohibiting. Of course people brought their pets. I only was able to get a few pics, but here are a few:
Here's Ralph with Annie sniffing him. He stopped by the booth to say hello:


This is a new breed called a Leonburger. It's some kind of official mix of Great Pyranese, Burmese Mountain Dog and something else. It's a luxury breed, very expensive and bred for what I don't know:


Here's one of my favorite visitors, a little chihuahua named "Lentil". Oh that dog was so sweet! No angry misbehaved thing like some I've met. The first chihuahua I ever really got to know was gentle and sweet like Lentil is.



Lasty, our booth was basically like this all day:


I will try to post my progress as I struggle with the clutter, stated in a positive way, hopefully.

Oh happy day in the garden.

I do love my tulips. Especially the ones that aren't pink. I opened the drapes in my room today and saw these, threw on my crummiest jeans and ran out to take my photos. This kind of view of life on earth can really give me reason to live if I am in my darkest days (which I am not).


Finally, here are baby Hannah's pants before I took out the eyelet trim on the legs
It just took forever to fix those derned legs. The eyelet trim was not a big deal actually, but the pattern didn't make sense for the 0-3 size for decreasing the stitches down the leg, not without the things being long enough for a 2 year-old. I retreated to knitting some more on Obstacles, but not by much, as yesterday was chaotic and a Japanese class day (which for some reason is always chaotic).

I'm on a "How Clean Is Your House" jag in a bad way. Okay good way sort of. It got me off my can late last night and I cleaned my toilet and kitchen sink real good. Oh do I have a long way to go, but I know my house isn't as bad as the candidates in view on that show. Now I really, really want to redo the floor in my bathroom because the vinyl has shrunk and was cheap and put in badly by somebody who lived here before we moved in and... it looks like hell, frankly. Especially the glue on the wall where the plastic baseboard was adhered to it. Oh I must add a pic. First is the view before I spend about 2 hours with extremely toxic adhesive remover:

Now the lovely view after the adhesive is removed:

In order for me to get a new floor in, I must remove the last of that gunk, and the windows must be wide open. In other words, summer. Last summer I was dealing with a whole lot of other things, much of which had smells of a more organic type, so doing the bathroom was out. I know I can remove the rest of this gunk now, but I don't know how to deal with the toilet removal and replacing. I think this is the project we may do with some of the money that GW wants us to have. The rest will go into savings.

Funky little update

Last night I was thinking about what a lousy knitter I am. And to be honest, there was a serious mess up in my job too, which made me question my ability to do things thoughtfully, deliberately and accurately. I was only partially at fault with the job thing. Fortunately, I guess, the fundamental foul up was caused by someone else and my foul-up was that I didn't catch it but should have and it probably all is okay. By last night, my house was a major mess, time was running short, I had to go back and fix several things with my knitting. It took me two hours to do two rows, which says a lot about the number of interruptions I typically get. I ripped out the eyelet lace on Hannah's pants because it looks too clunky, and then my cat Seffie got hold of the ball of yarn. That would be sweet, innocent Seffie, "She Who Ripped Up the First Leg" that I had to redo. Then I took Boris and Mika for a walk last night, as in past midnight, and Boris somehow lost his $60 "deep fry" muzzle. I had to backtrack in the dark, in the middle of the night. But I did find it. At the farthest point from my house. Walking back though gave me time to reflect on several things:

First of all, most people don't have their job, kids and animals all in the same house all the time. Then there is the husband factor, a chaotic factor indeed. Even my chickens are more at peace when he's been gone for 24 hours.

Then there is the small fact that we use wood heat almost exclusively. This means managing the fire and bringing in the wood a lot. It also means several interruptions and an effort that must be sustained to ward off a chill that is inevitably here from October through June.

Third, I have too many animals. If I knew of anyone who could take in Roscoe, I would give him to them, but I don't. He needs extra care.

Fourth. Organized religion and philosophy drives me crazy. I unsubscribed pronto to Zencast. To be frank, wisdom wielders nauseate me.

Fifth. I think I am justified in deciding to step away from my mother as I have. She did a good job about some things but really stunk at others, as in most, and now she shall have her space, as I deserve mine.

On a completely different note, I've been watching "How Clean is Your House" again. It is aired on BBC America. Oh I do love that show! My mother is one that lives in the way of these people who are complete slobs, and the part that hits me hardest is when they confront the parents or mother and tell them they're being irresponsible and how can they do that to their child. My mother used to get angry at me if I'd try to clean, so it's a bitter but hilarious and motivating show. Here's an episode I found on YouTube:



If you can't link to Parts 2 and 3 and you're interested, here's the link to Part 2:

Spring time means idea time.

Well. Kind of.

I've had this idea rattling around in my head that I would knit a scarf or throw in the way of Kente style, the traditional woven fabric from Ghana. Here is some Kente cloth:


It could be kind of interesting, what with knitting's additional ability to vary texture, to see that kind of color work interpreted in knitting. I guess I have some other things to finish up first.

Speaking of that, I knit a bunch on baby Hannah's pants, as I posted yesterday. I went way into the 2nd leg and (crap) discovered I had started my rounds in an incorrect place so the decreases showed a real strange catty-wompus inseam relative to the right leg. I decided that was a good time to go to bed. I ripped it out today and am ready to tackle it again. I need to have another FO (finished object) for my self esteem.

On a difficult note, Roscoe, my HBC cat (hit by a car), is having some kind of plumbing problem. He's having trouble peeing and he's even squatting in the chicken food and staring at me to get my attention.

Sorry Roscoe. Guess I'd best get him to the vet.

I really am knitting on Hannah's pants sometimes.

My SIL says though that Hannah is still in newborn sizes, not yet to the 0-3 month and these would be way too big for her at this point. Hence my setting them aside and working on Obstacles. But if I set them aside too long, I am afraid I may forget what I was doing with them. What I need is a week alone, really, to finish up all I must do, not just 24 hours. See the trouble with 24 hours is that I had to sleep during some of it, and clean and do my job-job too so this stuff had to be set aside. And there was the small matter of my cat who is having trouble pooping today and letting me know all about it and then Boris, who took to following me around whining again.

I went outside as my BIL got on Dave's motorcycle to drive it south and holy moly was there pine pollen on my windshield. It wasn't there yesterday...

Everybody is home now, and my responsibilities and interruptions mount. Later.

Hot and stuff.

It's been downright hot today. I drove the boys down to see their grandpa with Dave for the night, and finally I have 24 hours alone. This will be the 1st time I've had 24 hours alone in well over a year. Now I have so much to do with my time, I'm feeling overwhelmed by all I need to do.

I started out knitting. I'm working on Obstacles again, and today I'm wondering why since I'm using a wonderful Briar Rose Legend yarn because it is, after all, a warm shawl. Here's a view so far:

It's not like I don't have warmer weather things in my queue though. I have so much stuff in my queue it's ridiculous. The thing that's annoying me right now is the amount of unfinished work I have everywhere I look. Unlike my mother, I have a limit to what I can tolerate in the mess and unfinished stuff department.

This alone thing is freaking Boris out. He's following me everywhere and whining just a bit too much for my taste. I want to relax but something about a stressed-out Saint Bernard following a person around makes relaxing just a bit out of reach.

Okay so far I've:
1. painted a second coat on a wall that needed it in the bathroom.
2. Framed a print I have had waiting for that for a couple of months. Doesn't look so good but at least it's done.
3. Knit.

Still have to:
1. Work on learning some software some more.
2. Dust the mini blinds.
3. Clean the toilet.

I know how to live it up when I'm alone, don't I?

Here are some garden photos to add some cheer:

Apple blossoms:


Purple dock leaf:


Pink tulip brigade:




There you go. There are more photos on my Flickr account.

Poor Pancake.

Here she is, all pecked up and needing a little time away from her friends. Poor thing. That's all bloody junk on the top of her head where normally she has a dirty but full crest. Sure, she molted those feathers first before her little head was pecked bloody, but still... It should return to it's usual remarkable appearance in about 6 weeks when her feathers get a chance to grow out. Here's another view:

On a knitting note, I've decided to pick up the Obstacles shawl again. I'm using my addi laces on it, and dang those are pointy points. I'm having to unknit and figure out where I left off as I sleuth out where that extra stitch came from, and I think I may need to use my old leather thimble. Sheesh! Obstacles seems like a breeze after having to frog that Monkey sock yesterday. I redid the cuff last night but I'm still a bit huffy at myself for not knitting it at the correct gauge in the first place. Humph.

Yesterday I had a chance to be out in the garden a little. My tulips are really coming along. Now these tulips aren't my favorite color - I thought they were going to be a deep purple when I planted them. Obviously they're deep pink. So. I let them stay because a) my neighbor likes them and b) I don't have the heart to kill them and c) my neighbor doesn't want them because her soil is too crummy for anything to grow. So the yearly pink tulip scene is inevitable:

The orangey-yellow ones are coming along though, and I really do like them a lot:

Last but not at all least is one representative from my spray of daffodils. They were here when we moved in over 8 years ago, and they seem to be happy here. Check out this little nodding friend:

Hi Judy.

I haven't posted to a blog in a while. I guess I've been shy of commitments.

Getting down to brass tacks here:

Big time fun with my friend Cherry Blossoms today. We laughed so hard at Japanese comedy that we both happened to have viewed. SO FUNNY. Tears. Tears from laughter. Like this one for example - such sadistic humor:

Cherry Blossoms helped me get through the angst of having to rip out half my personal therapy sock, one I am making from a lovely Dream In Color "Smooshy" yarn in a colorway called "Butter Peeps". Oh and it really is that color. Bought it three days before Easter, as if that matters. She held the ribbing as I ripped. Oh boo hoo. I had to buy some longer #2 dpns from Kathy at Have You Any Wool. Oh she's helpful and a half. I was using #2's already but they were Addi woods and a different mm. How's that for too much information? Anyway, Cherry Blossoms loves my new book called Food Knit:
I think she would have loved it more if she could have seen it via pages in her hands instead of photos I took and stuck onto my iPod. My friend Naomi borrowed the book - she says knitted food is so Japanese! On that fish platter, even the sauce is a knitted fine lace, although in the picture it looks like, well... sauce.

Pancake, my all-white Polish hen, has moulted a TON over the past few weeks and lost a bunch of feathers from her head among other places. Unfortunately for her, her flock-mates have perhaps mistaken the specks on her head as edible and she now has a crown consisting of a regular pattern of scabs. Poor girl. Shhh. I have her behind bars here in my room for the night to help her have a better day. It's the mornings before I let them outside that I think she is sustaining the damage, although I cannot be sure.

I have some pictures to share. I'll get them up here in the next day or two. No major creative endeavor to oblige myself to or to promote with this blog, and that is refreshing. This blog is for YOU. For ME. Just a little view.